How Do You Define Success?

As a youngster, I remember when my mum and dad turned forty. They both had big birthday parties, and I remember thinking to myself, “f*ck they’re old”.

As I approach the same milestone, I’ve been thinking about my place in life, and the idea of success has been filling my thoughts.

Am I Successful?

I used to think of success in material terms. A big house. A nice car. Money in the bank. Success!

As I grow older, that definition and those things seem to matter less. Perhaps this transition started in 2006 when my coach and mental conditioner encouraged a shift of mindset from one of outcomes; results, qualifying points and prize money, to process; the day-to-day actions needed to achieve said outcomes.

I know it was further fuelled when I read John Wooden’s definition of success a decade ago.

Success is peace of mind which is the direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to be the best of which you’re capable.

Peace of mind sounds pretty good to me. We’re all born into different circumstances. We have different intelligence, physical health and capabilities. Our looks differ as do our voices.

We are who we are.

It’s easy to get caught in the trap of comparison. As a young man, I spent a lot of my time comparing myself to others and worrying that I wasn’t good enough to compete, didn’t have the right gear, wasn’t enough.

I’ve come to realise that I have no control over what others have, say or do, so why should I spend energy on it? All I can do is make the effort and do my best.

If a big house, a nice car and money no longer matter so much, what does?